Day 10 - Bad Feelings

So today I got some news that seemed really bad. In my head. At first. But even after I realized it wasn't that big of a deal, I still had this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I actually thought I was going to throw up. This news really upset me and it wasn't even that bad.


So what can we do for ourselves when we feel one way and know we should feel another? I'm probably not the best person to answer that question since I had no idea what to do for myself, but I'll tell you how I got through today.


If I wasn't doing Whole30, I would've opened a beer or poured a cocktail. I REALLY wanted to, to take the edge off of what I was feeling. I didn't. I wanted to soothe myself with food. I didn't do that either. I paced around the house and stared into space, letting my thoughts grip me. I couldn't think of anything to do besides embrace what I was feeling. Meditating seemed too daunting because my thoughts were racing. I felt bad for letting these feelings take hold of me like they did.


But then...


After the emotion and thoughts had permeated, they dissipated enough for me to see them clearly. I don't know if that makes any sense. Embracing the bad feelings turned out to be a positive thing for me in this circumstance where I knew what I was feeling wasn't really justified. I was freaking out and didn't need to be. And that's okay. It's okay to have feelings. What a novel idea!


The fact that I didn't succumb to my desire to self soothe with outside forces makes it even better. I'm going to bed tonight with a clear head and spirit.

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© 2018 Candace Pauly